Time to Myself

                     I don't care who you are or how insecure you're nervous disorder might be, everybody loves a little alone time. As for me, I crave it 24/7. I enjoy people, but I do have misanthropic tendencies as demonstrated throughout this ever rambling blog. Tonight, I'm covering being an only child, people who are reclusive by nature, and basically how much fun the life of celibacy is.
                     Kourtney Kardashian once said she couldn't imagine life without her siblings, well I can't imagine life with them. For eight years, it's been JUST grandma and I. That leaves me to possess a majority of the TV time, all of the DVDs, and I get to eat huge quantities of food, as my waistline proves. Everytime I have to share anything with anyone, I become a standoffish jerk.
                     Al Pacino is an only child, curious given the godfather made his career and that movie was all about his character, his characters siblings, and the mafia. Daniel Radcliffe is also an only child, which made him a perfect fit for the role of Harry Potter, an orphaned only child. I suppose that role would have been really easy to play if it were me, Oliver Twist, Huckleberry Finn, or James Bond.
                    The Old Man and the Sea was a best selling, award winning book by noted loner Ernest Hemingway. It's all about this fisherman who goes on a solo fishing trip to catch a legendary Swordfish, rumored to be the size of a house. The book was a great example of the exciting adventures a man can have with no other human beings near him.
                    Many celebrities have famously been in a self imposed exile. Emily Dickinson, one of the most wonderfully imaginitive poets rarely left her house the last fifteen years of her life. Bill Watterson, creator of that flawless Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, rarely conducted interviews and hasn't been seen often since he stopped drawing the strip in 1995, after a mere ten years. I wonder what he thinks of todays comics. I don't think they're fit to lick Calvin and Hobbes' feet and paws.
                    I'd love to be a recluse by choice, but I'm not famous yet so nobody cares. Personally, I don't think people comprehend how important alone time is. I can safely say I love time to myself, but there's people out there who smother their spouses and children because they love compaionship and affection that much.
                    There are married couples who take seperate vacations, cough-cough Oprah, and the marriage is strong as it will ever be. It's perfectly healthy to need time for yourself, just don't do it too often. The Mrs. will suspect something smells. I love this life of luxurious self importance far too much to ever become attached to one woman for the rest of my life.
                     Those pricks on the internet like to make jokes about people who don't date, and those subpar romantic comedy films make it seem like a crime not to have a partner by age 30. I love the life of celibacy.
                     It means I don't have to worry about college funds, I don't need to fret about pleasing my wife in the bedroom, I wont require a constant checking of my credit card statements to make sure some god awful shoes or toys were purchased. I'm not a repsonsible, reliable, or trustworthy person. I'm better off alone, and I love it so everybody wins.
                     If ever in my life I may starve for a little playmate, I could get a dog. Maybe two, and call them Bo and Po, the former after my Dog from 5th grade, and the latter after the Kung Fu Panda. Also, both names rhyme with mine. No pride, all class, right? Anyway, better Dogs than a Cat, because cats are crabbier than my Uncle's sister. Besides, dogs bond for life and aren't too expensive, they only live 12-20 years anyway, so no Colleges. Sign me up for Dog ownership.