couch potatoes

           There is no, I repeat, no duplicating the joy of sitting on the couch and watching television for 10-15 hours straight with the occasional break in between. It is absolute bliss, like the first bite into a piece of chocolate cake. I personally sat around watching the boob tube during every holiday break, including summer.
           There was a time when I considered being a film critic, hence the name of my blog. I love to analyze movies, especially the great ones that are worth watching. Unfortunately, that usually requires a journalism degree, which I am not willing to do. Getting paid to watch and critique films is a great dream, but college would take time away from me watching the television day after day.
            Certain people who will go unnamed believe I'm wasting my life sitting on my bum. Sorry, but I don't feel the same. It gives me lots of free time to write songs. I have 92 songs in my collection. I plan to be a famous musician later in life. Right now, it's hard for me to be awake without staring at a lighted screen where I can escape from reality. TV is a most addictive drug and the only side effects are lack of mobility and eating a lot of empty calories while staring at the idiot box.
            Current Television shows I watch every week are The Big Bang Theory on CBS, Pardon the Interruption on ESPN, The Simpsons and American Dad on FOX, South Park on Comedy Central, and Toy Hunter on the underrated Travel Channel. That may not seem like much, but I also watch American Dad reruns on Adult Swim and tons of Pawn Stars on History Channel, made everyday.
             I haven't mentioned the 130+ movies in my collection, I have every Seinfeld season, all The Simpsons seasons on DVD so far, all the SpongeBob seasons(guilty pleasure) and I also try to watch at least five to ten movies I haven't seen before, or one I've seen that I adore and I don't have in my collection.
             With all that said, the only other things I have time for is Madden '07 on the original XBOX(that's right), the backbreaking chores of taking out the garbage, doing laundry, and emptying the dishwasher. Lately I've been eating Cream of Wheat, it's delicious with brown sugar. The milk takes about 10 minutes to boil, followed by gradually adding the cream of wheat, then stir constantly with a wire whisk for three minutes, then pour in a bowl and enjoy! You've got to watch the milk closely so it doesn't boil over, I learned that the hard way my first time.
            To make my final point, life as a couch potato is actually very productive and very time consuming. I'll admit I should be a lot heavier than I am. I do swim during the summer, I eat apples, carrots, and clementines for snacks when the price is right. There's no denying the awesomeness of the pet cat lifestyle. The only thing I don't have is a litterbox. What I just described is the king of living it up and it's not as pathetic as it sounds. I do have couch potato pride. Deal with it!