Thanksgiving

               My favorite holiday is happening next week. Obviously, I love it because it's all about eating and being grateful for the life you've got. My life is about eating, but rarely buffet sized portions, and I love me some buffet, especially Golden Corral or Cici's Pizza. I suppose watching football's a huge part of it too, at least in this country.
                Thanksgiving break was always cool. It's a five day vacation which is very uncommon, not to mention when you're younger you get half days on the Monday and Tuesday leading up to it, which was a huge bonus at that age. Nothing but eating and hanging out with Grandma on Thursday. It will be fun.
                I revile Pumpkin Pie. It tastes like a bitter Gym sock. I love Apple Pie, thanks to Mrs. Kurey's Foods II, so this year I'm asking Grandma if she wouldn't mind baking a Sara Lee Apple pie for me and anyone else who might want it. The five people that may come over probably would love some of the food. I always hog the mashed potatoes because lord help me they're scrumptuous. The turkey is also great. I'm not a veggie guy, so everything else I leave alone.
               Thanksgiving is one of the very few holidays that is celebrated by everybody, no matter their religion or financial status.  That's because there is great universality to this holiday. It has nothing to do with Christ or hebrew slaves, it's very simple: being grateful for the important necessities in your life and sharing a large feast of food that you try your best not to waste.
                We all know the very first Thanksgiving was about the Pilgrims sailing on the Mayflower in 1620 and meeting Native americans on the shore. They all welcome eachother as friends and brothers and share in a feast of harmony. No, it's like Columbus Day, there were a lot of atrocities committed by the european settlers and a lot of tragedies suffered by the Natives, whos population was regularly decimated from brutal slaughterings by the heartless, cold "pilgrims".
                 Of course the Pilgrims all thought it was their land, and those natives weren't getting in the way of their establishing townships and supremacy over this country we all proudly boast as the "United" States of America. To this day, many tribes still lay in ruin and can only rely on casino revenue to survive, but of course Thanksgiving isn't about that. We're all supposed to shut up, eat, and forget all the carnage caused to make this national holiday a reality.
                  The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade is a celebrated part of Thanksgiving also. It is very boring after approximately twenty minutes, watching gigantic balloons float by at a snails pace and a sloths speed. My Uncle would rather watch grass grow than Golf, I'd rather watch Lions sleep at the zoo than the Parade.
                   Scotty McCreery, the American Idol "winner" sang at said parade last year, and he missed his lip sync cue. Everyone found it to be a charming epic fail, but I thought it proved that show is worth the watch that the movie Waterworld was. Wow, I don't care if "everyone" lip syncs at those things, it is a cowards way out.
                   The true working musicians never lip sync, damn it. Hendrix, James Brown, Bob Dylan, Frddie Mercury all did it for real all the time. Even on Thanksgiving, music is of the utmost importance to me, and that Scotty moment make me sicker than a hungover Ed Helms.
                    In conclusion, Thanksgiving is awesome for me, but the true story turned me off a bit. I don't find the parade very interesting, and Scotty McCreery needs to find a more suitable day job, like a mime. I will admit I look forward to this day every year, and I can't wait to devour that table. I could bankrupt a buffet anyday, but my Grandma's table will do next Thursday.